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About her book (featured on readergirlz this month) and its outreach connection to World Vision’s Hope for Sexually Exploited Girls, Holly Cupala says, "Even though TELL ME A SECRET is not about sexual exploitation, it is about women and secrets and dealing with shame, so I felt there was a connection there.”
The connection between sex and secrecy and shame is especially powerful for girls, but it is everywhere in our society. Sex is about vulnerability and about emotional and physical risk. We build cultural and religious rules and expectations around it. We approach it with contradictions that could make anyone’s head spin: we set up taboos at the same time we use it to sell everything from soap to liquor. We sell cosmetics for “kissable lips” and then warn about where kissing might lead. We bury sex in a mound of whispers and jokes, slang and euphemisms.
I think most writers who include sexually active characters in their YA books want to lift that veil of secrecy and shame a little, to confront some basic truths of human nature and cut through the myths and mysteries. I know that was one of my goals in THE SECRET YEAR, which, like Holly Cupala’s book, has a plot that revolves around secrecy. In my own schooldays, adults did a fair job of giving me biological information and telling me about my right to say no, of warning me about pregnancy and STDs. But the gaping void in my education revolved around the emotional consequences of physical intimacy. What do we gain, and what do we give, when we enter into such a relationship? What are the emotional risks? What does sex do to our own concept of self-worth, and to our interactions with others?
In THE SECRET YEAR, the characters Colt and Julia believe at first that they can have a physical relationship with no strings attached. At one point, however, Colt concludes: “I should’ve known there are always strings. They’d slipped around my wrists and knotted up before I’d even noticed.” In fact, for these characters, secrecy itself is as potent a force as sex; they find any and every excuse to maintain the walls of secrecy that surround them. The biggest threat to their relationship is always openness, a full and honest commitment. And can any relationship survive behind walls?
Eventually, Colt and Julia run out of ways to hide; they have to face the limits of their secret world. Neither of them is immune to the laws of cause and effect. Their relationship changes them in ways they never expected or intended.
- Jennifer R. Hubbard
6 comments:
Thank you so much for chatting with me, Jennifer. :)
Thank you, Jennifer! It was wonderful to have you stop by. Yay, for our recommended reads!
You can't go wrong writing about difficult topics with your kind of honesty and forthrightness, Jenn. You've done so here and in THE SECRET YEAR. Well done!
A very timely guest post, Jenn. Thank you for articulating so beautifully the dilemmas of sex and expectations and shame.
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