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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

June: Loyalty

One of the major themes of Cam and Jenna's friendship in Sweethearts is loyalty, even in the face of change. What do you think makes a loyal friend? Should loyalty have limits?


Little Willow said...

Our theme of the month is truth, and loyalty is about truth: being true to your friends, and helping them when they aren't being true to themselves.

lanna-lovely said...

I think what makes someone a loyal friend, is someone who will stand by you even when things get tough and will be honest with you, even if honesty isn't the easiest option.

And they wouldn't just stand by if someone was saying something bad about you, because I think when you're REALLY someones friend, and when they mean the world to you... then someone insulting them or hurting them hurts almost as much as if it was happening to you.

As for loyalty having limits - yes and no. I mean, I don't think you should be completely loyal to someone if they didn't show you the same respect.

For me, I guess loyalty and trust go hand in hand - as long as I trust my friends and trust them to be loyal to me, then my loyalty to them is pretty limitless (or at least, I haven't reached a point yet in any of my friendships where I reached my limit).

I'm not sure I'm making much sense, I'm so terrible at explaining what I mean. :oP

Melissa Walker said...

Lanna-lovely says it well: It's complicated!

But with true friendships, I think, loyalty has no limits. (I know there's a caveat in there, but life has caveats!).

Sara Z. said...

Lanna - it makes total sense. I'm the same way. I'm very loyal, but once I lose trust, everything changes. If I know a friend has a habit of repeating confidences, for example, I kind of end up never telling that person anything again and it of course affects our friendship.

I think there can be an unhealthy level of loyalty sometimes, like when you're so loyal to someone you'll do stuff you know you shouldn't do just to stand by them---it's sort of self-betrayal to let your loyalty override who you really are.

Silence is Golden, But Ducktape is Silver said...

I have so many issues with loyalty and trust--actually quite frankly. I think I've forgotten what it means, not to be loyal but what it means to receive it from others or to accept it from them.

Loyalty to me, means keeping your word. At least as far as I know its the one thing I cannot stand. When people say something and do another or make a promise they don't keep--but that might be venturing into trust instead of loyalty.

But really is there even a difference between trust and loyalty?

Lorie Ann Grover said...

Good question, Silence. Difference between trust and loyalty?

Trust: assured reliance
Loyalty: faithful in allegiance

Both are certainly needed in relationships. Both can be broken and no longer deserve to be given or received. Each of us has to decide where that line is, like Sara illustrated.

Dia Calhoun said...

One can be loyal even without keeping their word, sometimes by breaking their word. Say for excample a friend is in serious trouble and tells you, then asks you to keep it secret. But if you don't share your friend's secret serious harm will come to her. At that point your loyalty to your friend dictates that helping her is more loyal than keeping her secret.

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