Be Positive!

Check out this article by Anya Strzemien at The Huffington Post, which is collecting comments for a good cause. Simply give yourself a compliment! For every comment up to 5,000, the Huffington Post Media Group will donate $1 to Girls Inc. I pointed readergirlz diva Melissa Walker to the article and she immediately posted about it at I Heart Daily. As Melissa said, "How cool is that?"

I told my friend Amber Benson about it as well, and she tweeted: "Say something positive about yourself and help raise some money for Girls Inc - JUST DO IT!"
 Go to the Huffington Post website and leave your comments by April 10th! Then post, tweet, et cetera, and encourage others to do the same.

rgz Self-Esteem Shoutout: The 3E Workshop Series

You may be familiar with Mary J. Blige's work as a singer/songwriter, with hits like "Real Love, "No More Drama," and "Just Fine." You may also have seen her work as an actress in movies (I Can Do Bad All By Myself) and her personal appearances on TV shows such as Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Entourage. But did you know about her charity work? Check out FFAWN, The Mary J. Blige and Steve Stoute Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now, Inc. In their own words:

"The Mary J. Blige and Steve Stoute Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now, Inc. (FFAWN) was created and funded in 2007 by recording artist Mary J. Blige and marketing pioneer Steve Stoute in order to use Mary's personal story and success to inspire women from all walks of life to reach their individual potential. Mary hopes to help these women overcome the difficulties they face in their lives and to provide them with the drive and confidence to pursue – and realize – their goals and dreams."

This is the kind of thing that makes me want to yell, "YES!" I am extremely happy when people realize their potential. Are you with me?

FFAWN's programs and projects include The Mary J. Blige Center for Women, a career, education, and life skills resource center in Yonkers, New York (Mary's hometown!), and the 3E Workshops, monthly workshops and open forums for women. FFAWN also gave scholarships to graduates of The Women's Academy of Excellence in the Bronx. The FFAWN website says they will offer more scholarships this year, but they haven't posted the information or applications yet, so bookmark their site and check back later for updated info.

Fast facts:
Mary will play Justice Charlier in the upcoming film adaptation of the musical Rock of Ages. The MJB Center is associated with Westchester Jewish Community Services.
3E stands for Empowerment through Education and Encouragement.
The J. in Mary J. Blige stands for Jane.

The Ruby Oliver Series: Self-Respect

This week's theme is Self-respect. In Monday's guest post, featured author E. Lockhart wrote:

"Ruby goes from calling herself a leper (really grodie and unloved) to calling herself a roly-poly (only a little grodie and even beloved by certain bug-fond weirdos). A bit of progress, right."

Sometimes we all judge ourselves harshly. Have you experienced that? How did you change that mindset and up your self-respect factor like Ruby does over these four books?

PS-Don't forget to Rock the Drop tomorrow to be entered to win the entire Ruby Oliver series!

PPS-Visit our archives for a whole month of featured content featuring E. Lockhart and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks!

Featured Title: The RUBY OLIVER books by E. Lockhart!

Confession time, rgz: I *love* E. Lockhart. So, so, so much. As a writer, she is sharp, stylish, and hilarious, always walking that fine line between mass appeal and writing with a message. Her books are always thoughtful and deliberate without being heavy-handed, and having heard her speak on a few occasions, she always manages to inspire.

I think we all have that one author who reduces us to a series of fan-girl squeaks and mumbles, and for me, that author is E. Lockhart. Thank goodness all rgz correspondence was conducted via email so she couldn't hear me stammer!

Needless to say, I'm thrilled to celebrate the fourth book in the Ruby Oliver series, Real Live Boyfriends. I've been a fan of Ruby's since The Boyfriend List! Here's what E. has to say about Ruby, and this month's theme of Self-respect:

Self-respect.  It's the readergirlz theme but it's also what Ruby is trying to figure out in these four books.  She goes from calling herself a leper (really grodie and unloved) to calling herself a roly-poly (only a little grodie and even beloved by certain bug-fond weirdos).  A bit of progress, right. 

Now that I think of it, that's all we really need in life, yeah? Not to be beloved by the masses. To be beloved by a few discerning weirdos. It'sjust a hard thing to figure out when you're in high school and some people seem golden and others hopeless.  So that's what I'm writing about.

Someone wrote to me on Twitter recently that all four novels seem like one big book, together. That made me very happy, because I never planned to write four books.  I planned two, and then maybe a third, and then, oh, yah, I kinda want to  write a fourth. The search for self-respect does tie the novels together. Ruby has messed up. She's angered her friends, and partly for good reasons. She's an incorrigible flirt. She's self-deceptive. Sometimes selfish.  

So, what I'm looking at in these books is the question: what do you do if you're a person with actual faults that piss people off? Meaning, if you're human? 

Do you go on blindly, feeling virtuous and deluding yourself that you're victimized when other people hate you? Or do you realize the errors of your ways and fall into a pit of helpless self-loathing and flagellation?

Neither way leads to actually finding those discerning weirdos who think you're awesome. Neither leads to mental health. 

You (and when I say "you" I mean "I")  -- you have to figure out what you think makes a good person and then try to be it. You have to forgive yourself for your failures but not forget them, because if you forget them you'll do them again. You have to laugh at what a wanker you've been. Maybe you have to say sorry. 

Thanks so much for joining us, E! 

Readers - stay tuned for information on a Ruby Oliver giveaway later this month! 

And in the meantime, why not chime in with some of YOUR favorite Ruby Oliver moments? 

Not That Kind of Girl: Passing Judgment

Siobhan Vivian's Not That Kind of Girl is our featured title this week, and in her guest post on Monday, she wrote the following:

"One thing I really wanted to impress upon my readers is that making a 'mistake' doesn’t mean that you are a bad person and are not deserving of respect. I think we, as a culture, are so quick to judge. We expect girls to be perfect, to never make mistakes, to always be smart and rational and make the right decisions. I’m sorry, but that’s just not possible!"

Have you ever been quick to judge someone else? A friend, an acquaintance, or even maybe a celebrity or someone in the public eye?

Featured Title: NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL, by Siobhan Vivian

Hey readergirlz: 
It's April, which means we're talking Self-respect on the blog! 
Today we're celebrating Siobhan Vivian's third novel, Not That Kind of Girl, about which Booklist says, 
“It’s rare to see second- and third-wave feminism square off in YA literature so successfully; don’t miss this round.” I heartily concur! I loved how the characters in the novel all grapple with their own notions of feminism and girl power, and how Natalie, the protagonist, reconciles her own conflicted views of sexuality. 

Welcome, Siobhan! 

First off, I am so honored that Not That Kind of Girl has been chosen for Self-Respect month at Readergirlz! Thank you thank you thank you!

With Not That Kind of Girl, the idea of self-respect was always in the forefront of my mind. And I was really interested in exploring the link between self-respect and the way other people judge you. Can you respect yourself when others don’t? It’s a really interesting question, especially when you throw sex in the mix, because everyone has an opinion on what you should and shouldn’t do. Ultimately though, the way you handle yourself is a personal choice, and only you will know what’s a right decision for you.

My personal goal in writing this book was to respect all girls…from the ones who take cell-phone pictures of themselves and send them to boys to the girls who want to stay virgins until they are married. I also wanted to explore the idea that bad choices and mistakes don’t always equal a lack of self-respect.

I think it scares some people to look at sex as a learning process, where you will inevitably make mistakes and (hopefully) learn from them. The things you do, and don’t do, will help you better understand yourself and make you a wiser girl in relationships moving forward.

One thing I really wanted to impress upon my readers is that making a “mistake” doesn’t mean that you are a bad person and are not deserving of respect. I think we, as a culture, are so quick to judge. We expect girls to be perfect, to never make mistakes, to always be smart and rational and make the right decisions. I’m sorry, but that’s just not possible!

The only person you are accountable to is yourself. The only opinion that matters is your own. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t reflect on the decisions you make, and allow other people to influence you, but at the end of the day, if you are okay with the kind of person you are, that’s what matters most. 

Thank you so much, Siobhan, for your thoughtful post and your incredibly thoughtful, nuanced book! 

Tell us, readergirlz - what does self-respect mean to you?