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September: Things You Can't Control
Katsa comes to realize that even with all her power, there are things in life she can't control. Is this something you've encountered in your own life? Does it upset you, too? 
16 comments:
Just sent my oldest daughter to college where she rushed sororities but didn't get the one she'd hoped for and felt rejected. I want to make it all better for her, like I did when she was younger, but of course, I can't. Impossible to control other people and what other people think and do. It's also out of your control whether a person chooses to be cheered up or not.
Ugh!
That's hard, Beverly. I also struggle with not being able to control how OTHERS feel. I often find myself struggling to please other people, when in reality, I can't control how they feel (and truthfully, I wouldn't want to--what a burden if I could!). But it's hard to let go if someone doesn't like me or reacts badly to something I do. I always want to control their feelings and make it better.
Very much so. I like being in control of my own life. I like things to be happy and good.
I'm writing an ENTIRE book with a character coming to grips that she has NO control.
We really have so very little. Maybe arthritis and cancer have shown me this.
We can control how we react.
I found this quote that I think is quite interesting : “The closest to being in control we will ever be is in that moment that we realize we're not.” As much as I would love to be in control of my life, I know that I let loads of things slip often, and most of the time it's when I let go that great things happen to me. Being in control doesn't necessarily mean being strong. I've always envied people who seem to be 100% confident and totally in control of their own lives (career, love life, friendship,etc.). But I realized that it's often a shell, and that when we are seeking control, it has the opposite effect of what we're looking for. People have often said to me that they saw me as a girl who knew what she wanted and who controlled her life. Some even said that they admired it. But in truth, I'm often lost and insecure, I'm lacking confidence, and the girl they see only tries to hide her doubts behing a facade. I feel like control is a sort of a security blanket, and as much as I would love to master my life I know that there's a lot of things that can't be forced. Sometimes I have to let go and let people think or be the way they are, events unfold the way they're supposed to, or even cakes burn because I forgot to check on them...! Control can be discussed in many ways, I don't know if what I wrote makes sense but it's how I feel. Maybe I'm wrong. ANd I'm probably blabbering. But that's something I can't control...! :)
It's frustrating, but ultimately I try to just let everything go and know that God has a plan for me that's better than anything I could "control." =)
I LOVE what you said, Lorie Ann. "We can control how we react." We can control our attitude about it.
Erin - it takes such a long time to get good at controlling one's reactions and attitudes. I'm not so great at it even though I'm practicing. I struggle with not being able to please everyone, even if you try with 100% of yourself. You can't control other people's responses to you.
I really, really like to be in control... but I also find it freeing sometimes to be reminded of all the things I can't control. It reminds me that it's okay to let things slide a little... it helps me get perspective.
On a related note -- this might be weird, but it usually comforts me to remember that I'll die someday. It frees me up to let go of the reigns -- it reminds me that the things I think matter don't really matter -- it helps me live better today.
*Ahem.* By "reigns" I meant "reins." (You'd think of writer of vaguely medieval fantasy would know the difference)
Good god. By "of writer," I meant "a writer."
This does not bode well for the live chat.
*checks and double-checks before hitting publish*
You're going to do fine in the live chat, Kristin. I can't wait!
I like to control things in my life, but also like to allow for flexibility and spontaneity. One thing I've learned over the years, with a sister with a disabling chronic illness, is life is precious and sometimes you've got to let go of the control to keep going.
We are in control of so very little. I wish I could control my reactions more, as this is my only true power, but that takes such strength of mind, to ignore someone who is cruel to you for example. I am not that strong.
Dia, I"m with you there -- that can be a daily struggle for me sometimes!
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