Featured author Deb Caletti says, "Frances Lee's mother, Joelle, describes her allure to a moody bad boy. All of the main characters later discuss this with Brie at dinner. Do you think there is a 'Bad Boy' allure? If so, why do you think it exists?"
I think it exists because, well, there are lots of reasons that bad boys are appealing but I'll just mention one:
Who doesn't want to be the girl worth changing for?
We're attracted to the danger/rush of dating a bad boy but secretely we hope we will be the one they'll want to keep, the one they're different with... the heart that they won't break.
(2) Girls are socialized to think they need to fix boys, that putting up with and even rewarding bad behavior (boys will be boys, after all) is just what we do until we figure out how to ease, or force, them into the "former bad boy" mold.
(3) All of us (to varying degrees and using varying levels of impulse control at different times) want what we can't — or shouldn't — have, whether it's more money/stuff/prestige, rich foods/other vices, or that elusive partner/love.
I totally agree with everyone (except Little Willow--I've always wanted the bad boy!). Being the ONE for him is intoxicating. Unfortunately, it usually ends in heartbreak.
But yes, I do think maybe he comes off as an alpha male that appeals to us in a cavewoman way, too, Lorie Ann.
Well-said, ladies! I think bad boy can also come off as confident - very appealing, at least to me. The trick is finding someone who has a healthy confidence versus the dominating, destructive kind (which isn't really confidence at all).
I wonder if the Bad Boy has a sense of being even stronger than societal structures, and that reads as the strongest partner somehow?
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking as broadly as possible. Hmm.
I think it exists because, well, there are lots of reasons that bad boys are appealing but I'll just mention one:
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't want to be the girl worth changing for?
We're attracted to the danger/rush of dating a bad boy but secretely we hope we will be the one they'll want to keep, the one they're different with... the heart that they won't break.
Three things:
ReplyDelete(1) I agree with both Lorie Ann and lanna-lovely!
(2) Girls are socialized to think they need to fix boys, that putting up with and even rewarding bad behavior (boys will be boys, after all) is just what we do until we figure out how to ease, or force, them into the "former bad boy" mold.
(3) All of us (to varying degrees and using varying levels of impulse control at different times) want what we can't — or shouldn't — have, whether it's more money/stuff/prestige, rich foods/other vices, or that elusive partner/love.
Not for me!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with everyone (except Little Willow--I've always wanted the bad boy!). Being the ONE for him is intoxicating. Unfortunately, it usually ends in heartbreak.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I do think maybe he comes off as an alpha male that appeals to us in a cavewoman way, too, Lorie Ann.
So glad you guys could follow what I was trying to say. And very cool further ideas!
ReplyDeleteWell-said, ladies! I think bad boy can also come off as confident - very appealing, at least to me. The trick is finding someone who has a healthy confidence versus the dominating, destructive kind (which isn't really confidence at all).
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